You know that feeling when you’ve prepared for a test very well when you have worked very hard to achieve something and for some reason or other it doesn’t pan out, you fail,blew the interview of your dream job , got rejected/dumped or that girl or boy you chased for so long just went up and got committed with someone else and you’re just like “WHAT?!!!”. In all of these cases somewhere we lose our hearts. We lose the spine to try again. All we really know is the taste of failure and rejection and things just not working out. The sweet old world tells us to “Dream and dream big” but how can we dream big? How can we bring ourselves to dream again when life has been hell when the dreams and aspirations that we had just went and blew up on our face. The expectations that we had from life, from ourselves just completely got destroyed and suddenly we don’t know anymore we feel lost and stranded and heart broken not knowing how to recuperate.
WRITE IT DOWN– sometimes we don’t really need to talk to anyone or take other’s advice all we really need is to let it out, to cry to properly accept our defeat and come at terms with it. You don’t have to write it down on a piece of paper, just begin and don’t stop it doesn’t matter that you’ve gotten some spellings wrong because who cares right? it’s for you it’s your therapy and as you start writing down you’ll see flashbacks of every single time you’ve failed in your life like that math test when you were five or that drawing competition when you were three or that high school break up or you’ll remember a really sad story that you read or saw somewhere and it will just make it worse but KEEP WRITING OK? Be brave to confront your own self. Crying or feeling bad and feeling down and depressed aren’t all that bad because once you’re over it you’ll feel “God anything is better than this?” and it really helps us differentiate between our good days and our bad days and once you’re done whining and crying melodramatically at the corner of your bed post all alone , now this may sound very sad but “HUG YOURSELF” and say “it’s okay, you’re not alone you’ve got me”.
MOVE ON– The reason so many of us take defeats and rejection in such a negative way is because we feel embarrassed we feel like we can’t do anything because we keep on failing. But, the problem isn’t that is it? Maybe we have been asking ourselves the wrong questions maybe we have been feeding ourselves lies and sometimes you know you just can’t help it bad luck comes to us all. Maybe he wasn’t the right guy fro you that’s why it didn’t work out, maybe the job wasn’t right for you and maybe you need to work harder than you did before. Rather than looking back again and again at our defeat shouldn’t we take notes? shouldn’t we promise ourselves that we won’t procrastinate anymore, we won’t let that kind of guy/girl come close to us anymore or that opportunities and the chances that we missed or let go we won’t let that happen anymore. The bitter truth is what’s done is done you can’t expect to get back up in a day and feel okay everything is alright, it’s not obviously but time heals everything and little by little after a week, a month, a year it will hurt less. Till it vanishes in the sands of time.
TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR ACTIONS – So now in the process of moving on you can’t just sit idly right? You have to take control of your life now, see all the pros and cons and instead of crying and whining begin looking forward to forthcoming opportunities. Start preparing for the next test , start that internship you’ve been wanting to do for so long , so you didn’t get that job? Look for another. So he/she dumped you let him/her go and now recognize the kind of things you don’t want in a person and in a relationship in fact you’ll be more cautious of any red flags and will be much more experienced. The fact of the matter is life is so dynamic life is so mysterious how can you expect that only bad things will happen to you? That’s crazy. How can you say that you’ll never get the job or you’ll never meet the person etc etc. Are you an astronomer? Are you God? Or an Alien? that you know everything? NO so, shut up! Shut that voice that tells you that you can’t achieve anything because it’s stupid and you know it.
LEARN & EXECUTE -Now you’re a veteran you’ve seen more failures than anyone else no one expects you to be successful so, much less burden right? It is when the world underestimates us too much that we really get the time to shine. Learn what went wrong & make a list of the things that you should have done or you could do to improve like not procrastinating , having better communication skills , asking questions in class and to be a good listener to be more patient with your partner and not jump to conclusions etc. The fact that we failed proves that he have room to grow instead of looking back in life with despair look back like you’re reading a chapter of an old book and trying to learn from it and then make sure that you don’t do the same things like the protagonist of that story did.
NEVER COMPARE – Don’t compare your failure with someone else’s success. Your time will come, wait for it and instead of being sad try to be happy for others even if you sometimes might have to force that smile down your throat. It’s not easy, but it is life.
WORK HARD WITH ZERO EXPECTATIONS – The only expectations we should have is from ourselves. Expecting too much of others in a relationship is like a ticking time bomb it won’t happen and you will be disappointed.Same goes for everything almost, i feel that the harder you work for something the more expectations turn into a reality (in exams) but sometimes even while working hard there are things out of control. That promotion that you worked so hard for went to someone else, that relationship you tried to hold on too so much went down the drain so, what are we supposed to do? Remember “HARD WORK NEVER GOES TO WASTE” hardworking people who put 100% in their actions will one day achieve the things they strive for it might not be today, it might not be tomorrow but, it will for sure happen one day. Instead of expecting that day to come, forget about it and just keep doing what you’re doing try to improve and let life open the door of opportunities for you let life surprise you instead of waiting and wishing and hoping just bury your head down in your work and let things unfold and NEVER MISS A CHANCE TO HAVE A BIT OF FUN!
DRESS UP– dressing properly and looking presentable puts more confidence in you than most of the things and it especially helps on the days we are feeling low. Who doesn’t want to go out on the days when they’re looking gorgeous and picture perfect?
ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS – The thing that you’re working so hard for do you even like it? Are you doing it to earn respect of others or are you doing it because you actually like it? Do you want that job because you’re interested in that field or because you like the pay? Can you actually see a happy future with him/her or is it because you’re too scared to let go because you’re used to them?Don’t get me wrong we don’t always do the things that we like but we do those things anyways since they’re a stepping stone on our way to something that we actually like. Iggy Azalea scrubbed floors as a part timer to get a ticket to Miami and start her career I don’t think scrubbing floors sounds like a very enticing job but the outcome from it definitely was. So ask yourself are you doing things that will lead to a life of your dreams or are you just suffering for something that you don’t even care about that much?Or suffering with someone or because of someone who otherwise don’t really deserve it.
HAPPINESS – You’ll never be able to really achieve anything if you’re not mentally happy and we often associate our happiness with success we think “once i’m successful i’ll be happy” but in really shouldn’t be that way . The no.1 way to be happy is to spread happiness, try to cheer up your friend try to do something nice for someone try to donate some clothes or talk to old people try to make others laugh and try to stock up on good karma , try to grow a plant or a tree or play with some kids and try to make them laugh because happiness is what happiness gives. If you try to uplift others you’ll be in a way uplifting yourself and if your inner mind is turbulent try to keep it calm by not focusing on it too much. Fake it till you make! Works really well when you’re trying to cheer yourself up.