The art of forgiving

I have grown up idealizing my grandma. I love her and love everything she does. For me she has always been my iron woman. I have never in my life seen her whine or cry over something even once. It’s as if she doesn’t care. As if this world is too juvenile for her attention and care. Trust me, she doesn’t give two hoots about anything on this planet. Her life has always revolved around her and it continues to be like that. I’m not saying she’s selfish, she’s just not as bothered about others as we are. If she ever receives a compliment from someone, she thanks them. If people ever talk I’ll about her she does something which most of us fail to do- she forgives them.

I don’t know how she does it. I asked her one day how she lets go of all her anger to which she said that people who make you angry have the sole purpose of annoying nad irritating you. They want to get inside your mind and poison it. They want you to constantly think of them and how they wronged you. When you get angry at someone you pledge that you would never talk to them or think of them and in order to hold up this pledge you have to constantly remind your mind to not think of them. This is counterproductive because in order to forcefully and deliberately forget people you in turn constantly remind yourself of their bad deeds. This spoils your mind and wastes your time. Holding a grudge against someone comes with a heavy cost which you have to pay with your peace of mind. Thus, in order to be happy, you have to prioritise who is more important to you- yourself or others and if the answer is the former, you must forgive others.

Forgiveness isn’t philanthropy. You are not doing it to release others from their crimes and deeds, you are doing that to release your own self from the negative emotions and thoughts which come with resentment.

Life is too short to live it for others. You must start living for yourself. Love more, hate less because this is going to benefit you. Prioritise yourself. You should be your first priority and your happiness should be above your ego. The day you start loving yourself and the moment you realise that you want to start living life for your soul is the moment you will learn the art of forgiving. Imagine living for a 100 years. When you were 5 years old you had a fight with a friend of yours and you decided you would never speak to that friend or ever think of him. Now, you spent the next 95 years of your life reminding yourself how that person hurt you and how you should never think of him. Thus, you kept living every moment of your life for that person and just wasted a glorious 100 years holding on to a grudge which was fatal for your mental peace and we’ll being.

Thus, the path to eternal happiness starts from forgiveness. Let go of the hatred you have towards other people and you’ll notice how improved your life is. Always remember that your self respect is greater than your ego. While your ego prefers holding on to something your self respect will always remind you to let go because that’s the only way you can actually honour yourself.

Om Shanti.